Keep on Dreaming even if it Breaks your Heart 💔

I miss butterfly kisses.
I miss the music you used to listen to.
I miss Starbucks, it’s not the same without you.
I miss being happy.
And I really miss feeling like I belonged.

I miss you and I should be used to it, but I’m not.

Just the thought of losing you breaks my heart.

Rejection is the worst, but I put myself in that situation. I’m done being full hearted at anything, and I wish I meant that. I wish I could just disappear but I’d be leaving too many good things behind and too many things that could end up being good.. But I just want to give up. I want to hide from my problems, but there’s no where to go. I can’t confide in anyone, really, and the one person that I thought would understand, doesn’t.

All I needed was reassurance, a little pep talk, some encouragement.. I didn’t need to be put down like I’m a piece of shit that’s not going anywhere, especially not in this mind set where I can’t bring myself up.

I’m sick of feeling like I’m not worth the time or effort, like I’m not loved. At times, there’s no doubt I mean something but then it looks so easy for you to walk away. Like you can’t deal with my problems even when I dealt with all yours.. Because I love you. That’s exactly it.

I’ll never be anything because I love you and I can’t help but put you first because I love you. I don’t even get anything out of it, nothing I can show for it but the tears.. But I do it, because I fucking love you and you can’t even half ass doing the same for me. You can’t even pretend to care. But I’ll give you credit for one thing: breaking my heart.

Sitting here at my best friends while he’s sleeping, probably have a black eye, and I’m kinda cold.. But you know, I feel like I’m where I need to be and I’ll be sad when I leave.

Of course my best friend has to be mad at me.. I miss him just as much as he misses me and it’s just as much his as it is my fault that we haven’t hung out much at all lately.
I’m sorry I’m not sitting home moping about it, I’m going out and having a surprising amount of fun and I’m not stressing what he’s doing. That’s what he told me I should do, anyways.
It’s not like if he came over it would be any good.. We’d end up fighting over something stupid and then be on bad terms. I prefer us like this, cool with each other but not up each others ass to the point where it’s not even enjoyable anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, if he would just show up to cuddle and say sweet things we wouldn’t have a problem, because I do miss him!

I have so much fun with Danyell. It’s no work at all, just chillin and living for the moment. Its nice. She makes me feel at home.

blogsecret:

I’m waiting for the day you realize what you had and come looking for me.

(via morallyincorrect)